Sorting It Out

There are a lot of ways to get somewhere. There are a lot of resources in youth ministry. One of the things that I remember from my first week was the number of catalogs waiting in my mail box at the church. There was a stack almost two feet high with advertisements for small group curriculum, music, and conferences. I had mailings from magicians and gospel quartets. Talk about diversity. So here I was with all of these options, and I didn’t even know what my program looked like or was going to look like.

I must admit that I succumbed to some of the flashier flyers. I joined a video site, bought some books, and I even purchased a drum set for the band. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited before spending any money. It is tempting to buy material that looks so amazing that it will change the way that we think of church, but the reality is that it may not be right for your program or your group. It will take time to learn the culture of those you serve. You need to see where they are and not just consider them to be where you want them to be spiritually.

You also need to have a vision for what you want your program to be about. If you are brand new to student ministry, please understand that there are a lot of ways to minister to students. There is not one model or process that you must buy into to have success. However, you need to develop a process or a model that will work for your group. You need to have a vision about what your program stands for and how you will go about reaching and discipling students.

Once you have a vision for your ministry, then it is time to prioritize your needs. Something that can be difficult for new ministers to understand is the difference between budgeted money and money that you can spend. Most churches will give you a budget, but that does not mean you will ever actually be able to spend that much money because the church may not receive that much money that year. When you prioritize your spending, you will be able to maximize the impact that your money can make. Some things you will certainly need such as small group curriculum. Other things such as a couch or shirts are not necessary, but they could certainly have a value for your program.

Pitfalls of Ministry: Ambition

We all want to be the best ministers that we can be. We all want to do big things and have a big impact. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, we should all want to excel in the ministry that God has called us to. However, what we sometimes think of as healthy ambition is actually a destructive desire for our own glory. Let's look at a couple of ways that ambition can hurt our ministry and our careers.

The Need for Fame
It only took a few weeks in student ministry to realize that there are certain big names in student ministry. These people write books, have websites, or lead ministries. Other big name folks are those who serve at big name churches. It was really easy to fall into the trap thinking that the goal for me as a minister was to become one of these people. Once I had a website and a few books under my belt, I will have really "made it."

The problem with this need for fame is that it makes ministry a means to an end--and an extremely selfish end at that. If any part of your ministry is meant to do anything other than to help people grow closer to God, you might need to rethink your motivations. There is nothing wrong with becoming a big name in student ministry or any other field, but there is a danger if making yourself known is more of a focus than making God known.

Playing Your Position
Ambition can also be a problem when it comes to career plans. One of the realities of student ministry is that there are those in student ministry who are working toward a senior pastor role. They need to start out somewhere, and student ministry is a great place to get some church staff experience. To be honest, I don't see this as a bad thing at all. It becomes a problem, however, when a student minister fails to understand the importance of ministering where they are, rather than look forward to the next church or position. Student ministry is not the B-league of ministry. In fact, student ministry can be extremely difficult and is an intricate part of any church. It is obvious when a minister is simply "putting in their time" with students. It is important to be present in the ministry that God has led you to.

Another element of this is that many student ministers begin to think that they could do a better job running the church than the people currently running the church. I have seen young ministers go to churches and instantly think that they can preach better than the pastor, administrate better than the administrator, and lead worship better than the worship leader. It must be hard to be so gifted. If you feel this way, it will also be really hard for you to be a part of the team. It will also be hard for you to contribute to the health of the church.

Bigger May Not Be Better
One more way that ambition can get the best of us is in our programming and events. Yes, it would be cool if you had 500 students at your midweek program. It would be great if your students performed 52 service projects in one year. Here's the problem: many of these things are just unrealistic. It is not bad to dream, but if you continue to set unreasonable goals, you will become very disillusioned when your plans fail. When I started here at Bluegrass I wanted to make my first full year a year of service with our students completing something like 30 service projects that year. I also threw in a special two week program and set a huge goal for our Disciple Now weekend. The problem was that I had no real foundation for these programs, and I really did not fully understand what our group was or what our group needed.

We have a tendency to think that if we had more students, things would be great. Sometimes we think that a new program or a better curriculum with be the answer to all of the problems in our ministries. The truth is that in our ambition we sometimes think of ministry as a sprint rather than a marathon. Having a five month plan is a lot more motivational than a five year plan, but the reality is ministry is usually about relationships and relationships take time. It took me nearly a year to get our group back on solid ground with students and parents having positive attitudes about our program. It took that same year for me to get to know some of our students. I would have loved to have come in and righted the ship in two weeks and three weeks later be able to have deep spiritual conversations with our fringe students. We need to be realistic about how ministry is done.

Healthy Ambition
Being ambitious is not a bad thing. We need to have a vision for our program. We need to have a desire to become a better minister with a bigger impact. There are plenty examples of student ministers who lack ambition and simply oversee a status quo program. However, going to the other extreme can be just as problematic. In the end, we need to rely on God to direct the paths of our careers and give direction of our ministries. When we do that, our impact will be greater than we could have ever imagined.

Pitfalls of Ministry: Thin Skin

Doing ministry requires thick, elephant like skin. It's true. It takes about two weeks in ministry to learn about this requirement. Without thick skin, you probably are not going to make it in ministry. Seriously. If a snide comment or offhand remark can destroy your day, perhaps God called you to a ministry where you don't interact with hurting and growing people every day of your life.

Thick skin is especially important if you are in student ministry. This is true because it is easy to forget that students are still maturing and who knows what might come out of their mouth at any moment. Even in my short time in ministry I have heard things that could have ripped my heart out if not kept in context. I had a student ask why we never do anything fun in our ministry. Context: we had fun events but the student had chosen not to sign up for any. I recently had a student tell a group of people in the church that our programming was lame. Context: it was not lame until the girl that he hung out with moved out of town. I had a student who asked why we don't do anything deep. Context: this student becomes ridiculously distracting if forced to sit quiet and still for more than three minutes at a time.

Each one of these comments could have sent me into a tailspin. Each one could have sent our program back to the drawing board trying to make things fun or serious or not lame. We could have changed everything to make this person or that person happy. We didn't do that. We remembered that these students are still figuring things out. They have a narrow view of the world because they are still learning how to see the world. Because I have spent significant time praying and working towards a vision for the program, I feel secure in what we are doing.

There are other reasons that you need to have thick skin. Inevitably, you will encounter the student who leaves because they like something else better. Maybe they like the band somewhere else. Maybe they have more friends somewhere else. Maybe there are more single girls somewhere else. Are these good reasons to leave your church community? Probably not. Would you have done the same thing as a teenager? Probably.

One other reason to have thick skin is that in ministry you are helping people become mature in Christ. This means that the people that you are working with are learning and growing, but they are not holy simply because they come into your building or to your programs. The people who you minister to are not supposed to treat you like a friend and you are not supposed to treat them like your friend. The relationship is bigger than that. As a minister you are their guide, their prophet, and their shepherd. These roles do not allow you to leave them behind because they don't follow or because they disagree the words that you speak into their life.

How do you grow thick skin? You find security in who you are and in what God has called you to. You need to be confident in who you are. If you are intimidated by students or your church members, you have already minimized the impact that you can make. Be confident in who you are, your gifts and talents. Also, be confident in your calling. God selected you over all kinds of other people to share His story with these students and parishioners. If God called you to the task, he has prepared you as well. So stop being lame and toughen up.

Starting Points

When we are in the middle of planning camps, scheduling meetings, and organizing our weekly programs, it is easy to forget that our service in our ministry is actually a theological enterprise. We are not serving a calendar or even our students, but we are serving our God who created us and called us specifically to this task. I find at times that I need to be reminded of this truth.

In this theological task, our theology plays an important role whether we are conscience of it or not. Everyone thinks theologically, even if they do not call it thinking theologically. When we talk or think about God or about what the Bible teaches, we are exercising our theology. The fact that discussing theology has become something reserved for seminarians and professors troubles me. The issue that I see is not that people need to understand every theological concept in order to be saved, but I feel that having a better understanding of theology would result in having a better understanding of God and the faith that we profess.

In order to teach theologically or doctrinally, we need to understand our own understanding of our faith. The best place to start that process is to think about how we approach the theological task. What I mean by this is that we need to be aware of the lens that we look through when we seek to understand the Christian faith. Let's look at four common starting points of that frame our approach to theology and the exercise of our faith.

Creation
A theology that is seen from the frame of creation is one that focuses on a big picture view of God's redemptive plan for mankind and all of creation. The motivating idea is that God created the world, the world fell into sin, God has a plan to put it back together, Christ was that plan, and now we are moving to a place where God will restore everything. The focus here is that God still loves all that He created even though it has become corrupted.

The Incarnation
Many Christians identify strongly with the fact that Christ became a man and lived among other men. The lens becomes a way to approach life in light of the fact that Jesus provides an example of how we might approach life. Christ experienced many of the same things we do. He suffered and laughed. This view tends to provide assurance that God knows all that you go through in life and brings comfort that God would be so loving as to have that experience.

The Crucifixion
With the crucifixion as a starting point there is a desire to identify and understand the suffering that Jesus underwent for our sakes. The crucifixion is seen as the ultimate act of sacrifice and our lives are called to mirror that sacrificial love. In this frame there is a tendency to feel a deeper regret for sins and have a great appreciation for forgiveness.

The Judgment
There are Christians who focus a great deal on being prepared for the time when we will enter the heavenly realm. This could be a focus on eschatology (end times) or a focus on the judgment that the Bible speaks of that all mankind will experience. The emphasis becomes one of living a life that is more good than evil.

While all of these starting points is a valid way to approach our understanding of the Christian faith, each can be errant when taken to an extreme. For example, an overemphasis of the crucifixion can lead believers to live with guilt and pain when grace is not also emphasized. Likewise, a faith lived out focused on judgment can become one of legalism and striving when grace is not included.

If we are to truly teach theologically, we must first work out our theological understandings and what we believe. We must also know our tendencies when discussing the Christian life and how it is to be lived. As we become better theologians ourselves, we will become better at introducing people to a deeper understanding of what it means to live as a Christian.

You Can't Go Home Again

A few months ago I went back to my hometown for a quick visit. My family does not live there anymore, and it had probably been about four years since I had visited. As I drove down the main road I barely recognized certain parts of town. While I did not recognize things, as I walked into Chick-fil-a I was sure that I would be playing the part of Norm from Cheers and everyone would shout my name as I entered the doors. This did not happen. In fact, I saw no one that I recognized.

While it would have been great to relive the past, I was faced instead with a very different present. I have also experienced the same thing in ministry. When I came to this church, I brought with me with me some great memories of my own experience as a student in a student ministry. My experiences in high school with church were some of the best times in my life. If it worked for me, I thought, it would definitely work for this church that I was heading to. I envisioned all of the students excited about hanging out at Dairy Queen and wanting to have a great drama team. Basically, I wanted to recreate the ministry that I grew up in, and it was a mistake.

It did not take long to realize that you cannot recreate a ministry, because each church has a different culture and personalities. I tried to get the students into going to Sonic after our Wednesday night program, but it ended up being a really awkward time and I was out about $25 after lending kids money for ice cream. Instead of going of campus (which is a logistical and transportation nightmare I now realize) we hang out in our student area and play games, fellowship, and have a really good time. This time is now a great tradition in our group, and I can't think of anything else that would better fit our culture.

Where Did This Come From?

So I am organizing my office this morning for what has become about a weekly ritual, and as I put things away or throw things away, I can't help but reflect on the randomness that this job has sometimes (really most of the time). Perhaps the best evidence of the randomness of this job is the junk that accumulates here. Here are some of the things in my office:

• I have amassed quite a bug spray collection. Our annual high school camping trip and our fall retreat have given me the resources to repel bugs for the next three years.
  
  
• One time I used a bunch of plastic Army men for an object lesson. After a few "visits" from some students, these guys can be found hidden throughout my office.
  
  
• For whatever reason, I cannot seem to throw away the youth curriculum kit from 1981 that sits under my desk. Maybe because it is a good reminder that while stuff might be cool now, in thirty years people will ask why it even existed in the first place.
  
  
• In case a bonfire just breaks out, I also have all of ingredients to make smores. I will say that the Hershey's bars have been diminishing over the past few weeks.
  
  
• I have a record album entitled Jesus Sound Explosion from the 70's. I do not, however, have a record player so I have no idea what it sounds like, but with a name like that, it was impossible to pass it up at the thrift store.
  
  
• I have a guitar in my office that I bought a while ago. I cannot play guitar or even tell you the names of the strings, but I used it for a prop for a sermon a few months ago and decided that it would be very youth ministerish to have a guitar in my office.
  
  
• I recently found a box of CD's which at first seemed like a great find, but then I realized that these CDs were all from 1998. The upside is that one of the CDs is from a band called Phat Chance who was obviously a Christian version of N'SYNC. It's a classic.
  

What's great about having a random collection of things is that it reminds me that this job is often a really random collection of roles. It is also a job that has given me so many great memories. It makes you really appreciate what God has done and helps me anticipate what He will do in the future.

Why Do They Come

Have you ever wondered why students participate in your student ministry? I wonder that sometimes. I sit there and think, what brings these kids here to all these events. While I would like to think that it is because I am super awesome, I think that there are actually several reasons that students participate in our ministry. Each student comes for different reasons, and I have compiled a list of the types of students who come and the reasons that they do.

1. The Home-Grown Student--This student grew up in the church. His or her family has been a part of the church for a long time, and it was just natural for them to become part of the student ministry. For me these are some of the most committed students because they have a strong attachment to the program and church. Their parents also tend to be some of our best volunteers.

2. The Significant Other--Some students come to your stuff because they are dating someone in the group, and they are tagging along. As much as I would like to think that these kids will stick around after the break up, chances are they are temporary attenders. If they will stick around, it is because they formed relationships with the other girls or guys in the group while attending.

3. The Minister's Kid--This student will be at most things because his or her parent works at the church and makes them come. You will be especially nice to this student because you will regard him or her as a spy for his or her parent. Note: they are not spies for their parents, usually.

4. The Community Kid--This student was looking for a place to fit in, and he or she found it with your group. These students come because they like the relationships that they have with the group. Maybe a friend invited them, or maybe you invited them, either way they found something that they were seeking and now they feel at home.

5. The Ladies Man--This guy comes because there are girls in your group-no more explanation necessary.

6. The Visitor--This student is checking you out because his or her family is checking the church out. The issue here is that the student may not have any connection to the group before attending for the first time. With a group that is a little insular at times, it takes a lot of effort on the leadership's part to make sure that these students stick.

7. The Mystery--Some kids come and you have no idea why. There are some students who you see maybe a few times a year. What brings them back? Who knows, but you are excited to see them there. Then they disappear again, destined to return at yet another random time. There is hope, though. We have some great stories about mystery students who have become plugged in and big contributors to our program.

You may never know why some kids come to your group. Something that I have realized is that I have very little control over who comes and how often. We have had great attendance at some very average events and poor attendance at exciting events. Some of the best advice I have ever read, however, is that you never concentrate on who is not there, but celebrate the ones that are there. It doesn't matter why they have come, just show them all the love of Christ and you will make a huge impact on each life.

Are You Cool Enough

I was not the coolest kid in high school. I am pretty sure that I was not the 300th coolest kid in high school. I was a shy kid who, to a large degree, lacked confidence and cultural awareness. Like most high school kids, I wanted to fit in, and it was actually when I found a healthy student ministry that I finally found my niche.

As the school year starts back, it is time once again to head to the area high schools for lunch. I love these lunches, and they have made a really big impact for our ministry. The students love that I am willing to enter their world and talk to their friends, even the ones who don't talk to me once I am there. The food is terrible by the way, that has not changed in 11 years.

The funniest thing for me about going to the high schools is that on those days I suddenly become very aware of what I plan on wearing. On days heading to the schools I decide that certain clothes I have are not cool enough or not youth minister-ish enough. It would be hilarious if it wasn't a little sad. I was telling this to one of my high school students last week, and his response was, "Imagine if you had to do that every day. It's exhausting." Man I am glad that is over. It takes a lot of energy to be cool.

So here is the question: are you cool enough to be a student minister? After only being an official youth minister for about a month I attended my first get-together of area student ministers. While it could have been a great time for fellowship, I came away from the meeting extremely discouraged. Half of the other youth ministers had either a mohawk or faux hawk. The rest looked like they were taking a break from their rock band to attend the meeting. I just had jeans and a sweater on with brown boots. I definitely did not leave that meeting feeling cool enough to be a student minister.

It did not take long, however, for me to realize that being cool enough had very little to do with what I wore. I realized that being a cool student minster meant being a minister who was invested in the lives of his or her students, who cared about each of the students and demonstrated that care. To the students who I minister to, it doesn't matter that I can't play guitar or that I don't share their fashion sense. What they care about is knowing that I care. If you love your students, then you are definitely cool enough to be a youth minister.

Ordination

Next Sunday, January 17, we will be holding my ordination service. I have known that I wanted to be ordained since I began working towards a career in ministry when I was in college, but I suppose I had not spent a ton of time thinking about what it actually means to be ordained until recently. Here are some of my thoughts regarding ordination:

1. Ordination is a big deal, especially if you believe that it in some way relates to the ordination of priests in the Old Testament. I realize there are significant differences, but in some ways the symbolism is the same. The priests went through an extensive process of cleansing and devotion to prepare for ordination. It seems right to do some form of that as I prepare for next Sunday. When the first priests were preparing for their ordination, it took seven days of sacrifices before they were prepared to receive God's blessing. My hope is that in this week leading up to the ordination service I would be also see this week as a week to prepare and meditate upon what God has called me to do.

2. Ordination should be a major life event. We don't get many major life events. We have our first day of college, our wedding day, the day a child is born, or buying a first house. All of these are big days, life-changing days. I think that ordination should also be one of these. I think that after ordination life should seem different, just as it does when you realize that you are married. Of course you were a minister before and you are after, but ordination should change something about the way you see the world. I don't believe that ordination should be something that is simply done for the tax break or because it just the next step.

3. Ordination is something that you need to work towards. It does not need to be easy to become an ordained minister. I honestly believe that some theological education should be required. I think a knowledge of the Bible and theology is important. I think that to be ordained as a Southern Baptist, an immense amount of knowledge about the denomination, its history and doctrine, should be required. I also believe that experience doing ministry should be required. Before working in the church and ministering with people, my view of working in church life was extremely skewed.

When you consider the task that God has called us to, it is humbling. Out of the billions of people in the world, God has called us to serve as His special servants who are to lead people to Him. It is a high calling, and when we treat it as such, we will feel that more empowered by He who called us.

Know Your Role

During Christmas and New Years our offices are closed for the most part here at the church. This allows time for us as staff members to recharge and get a little rest. It also provides a time for evaluation. As a evaluation addict, I spend a ton of time thinking about how we can do things better, what needs reorganized, and what we might do differently.

Over the break I spent a great deal of time thinking about our programs. We are altering our formats a little by using a new curriculum for small groups and using that curriculum to also shape our Wednesday nights. I also spent a lot of time thinking of fun things for the students to do while on break, though not much materialized.

What all this thinking did was to help me realize that I do a lot of thinking. It got me thinking about what my role really is here at the church. I think that it is so easy to lose yourself in certain roles when it comes to ministry, especially student ministry. As I looked back at the past year, I realized that I have been spending so much time as the organizer and planner, that I may have missed the mark on minister. I realize that part of being a minister is the planning and vision casting, but another part of ministry is the actual ministering. I realized that many of my conversations with students stay on the surface. Spiritual and life things come up, but I must admit that it is not natural for me to ask spiritual questions of my students.

For a while I found it important to establish relationships with the students before venturing into the deep waters of spiritual advice and especially spiritual correction. Now I find that I have those relationships and need to initiate those conversations. Much of this goes back to asking what it means to be a minister. I have a whole lot of roles in our ministry--teacher, planner, janitor, driver, friend, and counselor. However, the most important thing that I can do is to help my students grow in their faith. The other roles need to serve this role, not be in addition to, and especially not take away from it.

I want to think about this next year from this angle, what do I want students to know me as. Do I want students to know me as a fun event planner, a good speaker, a friend, or as someone who helped them grow in their faith? Hopefully this question will help shape the year's priorities and practices.

Teaching

I really enjoy preaching/teaching. I like the preparation. I like the creativity in crafting the sermon/lesson. I like the talking in front of people. I like the imparting of God's truths to people so that they can live the way that God would have them live, but I hate having certain discussions about preaching, particularly this one:

Person 1: "I preach expository sermons where the Bible speaks for itself. You make the Bible fit your topic. All that you need is to tell people what the Bible says."

Person 2: "Well, I preach topical sermons from the Bible, and I use certain concepts drawn from the text. I use the whole counsel of the Bible to teach people how to live out their faith."

I am not either person, necessarily, but I know that the end of the conversation has Person 1 and Person 2 declaring that the other person is not preaching correctly.

These types of conversations make me crazy for several reasons, but the main one is the naive belief that there is only one way to communicate God's truth. In Divinity School, I had three professors who taught preaching. Dr. Miller was extremely poetic and creative. Dr. Ross was extremely exegetical (like most OT professors would be). Dr. Smith was a combination of the two others and added a spice of African-American preaching. My conclusion after all of these courses is that there is no one particular way to communicate.

I think that the Bible needs to play a key role in any sermon, but that does not mean that it must to be a verse by verse exposition. I think that a sermon needs to at least have some creativity as well as organization around a central theme or topic to have even a little impact on the hearer. This places what I think a sermon should be somewhere between a lecture on the Minor Prophets and reading a Max Lucado book out loud. Fairly broad ground, I suppose.

I also disagree with the statement that the expository style allows the Bible to speak for itself. The speaker is speaking for the Bible in any instance that the Bible is not simply being read out loud. Exposition is based on research and interpretation. We simply cannot claim that exposition is somehow the purest way to present a text. It is also hard to see how a sermon can be about Scripture but not utilize it. I understand that a sermon on love is founded on Biblical concepts, but it is also important to utilize Scripture to define what you are talking about.

Communicating God's truth to people is no light task. It is something that we should reflect on and work through, but at the end of the day, I suspect that we will find that our definition of teaching/preaching should be anything but narrow.

Just Passing Through

Being a minister is temporary. Now, I am not talking about the fact that ministers change churches frequently or leave the ministry. Our roles are temporary for two reasons. First, the places that we serve were there before us (unless of course you planted it) and they will be there after us (unless of course you killed it). Second, the people you minister to will change. They move away or change churches. Whether we like it or not, our roles in the lives of the congregations and the people we minster to are temporary.

What does this mean for our ministry? Does it affect the way we do our jobs? I hope that it does. I keep a picture of my church's youth group from the 1980s in my office as a reminder that I am part of something that is bigger than my time here. It helps me to remember three things.

First, I need to minister with a sense of urgency. I am all about building relationships and gaining trust, but I have to be reminded that I don't have forever to bring up spiritual stuff with students. I have to be careful that I continue to be a minister rather than a friend. Praying for boldness helps here. Not only does urgency help me with minister to the students, I also focus more on strengthening the program. I want to make things happen as fast as God will allow, and that means positioning the program for success.

The second thing that being temporary helps me to understand is that this student ministry needs to be sustainable. I could build a program around my gifts and energy, but the truth is that there are no guarantees that I will be here forever. My desire is to create a program that is not dependent upon one person or even one resource. This means establishing a culture where leaders are those in the church, not just on the staff. It also means simplifying certain aspects of ministry. For more information about this topic, I recommend Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark Devries.

The third thing that I remember when understanding that my role is temporary is that I need to have thick skin. A friend of mine in college ministry recently changed his area of ministry because it was simply too difficult to see students come and then leave after four years. His heart was broken every May and he had started to dread August because the cycle started over again. This week we will say goodbye to a student who has only recently joined us but has made a huge impact on our group. For five months we have poured into her life and watched God do some great things. As her family relocates for a new job, it breaks my heart, but I also know that I have done what I was called to do--minister to whoever God sends my way, even if it is for a little while. Even playing a small role in someone's life is an honor.

Understanding that you are temporary is so important in ministry. Not only does it keep you balanced, but it keeps you on your toes. As you watch students head to college or as you think about the people you have served in the past, I hope that you always rejoice that God has used you and will continue to do so.

Church Politics

I don't have tremendous profiling skills when it comes to who will make for a great minister, but I have discovered one sure fire way to tell if someone is going to struggle in ministry. I will now reveal that secret to you. On a completely unscientific and data-less basis, I can tell you that 95% of the people who use the phrase "I don't play church politics" will struggle in their ministries. Now you know. I don't know about the other 5%, but God does work in mysterious ways.

Here's the thing, most of the time what people mean by church politics is people skills. What they also typically mean is that they don't care what people say or think, they will do things their way. Sure churches have politics with people and groups vying for influence. Is it the ideal way for a church to operate? No. Is it going to change before Jesus comes back. No. So let's work with what we have.

Something that I really like about youth ministers is that they are often bold and innovative. Something that I really dislike about youth ministers is that they fail to appreciate the importance of people skills in a church when doing things that are bold and innovative. You can have a great idea for the youth room, but before you knock down walls, think about getting some support behind the idea. To do that, you will need to be able and willing to give your rationale and how it fits into your vision for the ministry. This of course takes time while just knocking down the wall takes like 30 minutes. You know what else takes 30 minutes, packing up your office. So make the time to communicate and get support.

Developing people skills also earns you goodwill. Attending the senior citizens banquet allows you not only to get to know your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, but you can also set the stage for asking for their help down the road. Developing a good relationship with parents gives you the benefit of the doubt when you and the students get back to the church 45 minutes late for pickup.

Let me give you another example of why it is important to develop relationships with all of your constituents. I know of two youth pastors who were let go (and several others who lost significant support) after addressing the inappropriate attire that some of the girls in their groups were wearing. It seems like a small matter, but when you lack the confidence of the parents, stories like these take a different shape. The minister is looking out for the boys of the group and trying to encourage the girls to be more modest. What the parents hear is that you are at worst staring at their daughters and at best challenging them on what they buy for their children. If there was some goodwill stored up from spending time with these parents, then perhaps what the parents would think is "maybe kid does need to dress more appropriately."

People skills go a long way with other groups whether it is your personnel committee, deacon body, or other church staff. What happens so often is that people think that working in a church should not have any of this political stuff so they will just rebel and refuse to play. But, it does not make you more spiritual to refuse to develop relationships in the organization. What it does make you is the person most likely to find a new place to work.

Clutter

With two kids my house seems to default to a state of clutter. Like most people, I really hate having a cluttered house, but picking up after each kid is like living the movie Groundhog Day. It just starts all over again.

Just as our homes can become cluttered, our ministries can also have a ton of clutter. While we have good intentions, sometimes we put events and programs all over the place just trying to have the maximum impact and outreach. However, the problem with clutter in our ministries is the same as it is in our homes, it is distracting and unorganized. Clearing up this cluttered approach to our programs allows us to focus and plan in ways that we never dreamed possible.

So what are the signs of a cluttered program? If planning the next six months would be impossible for you, the the program may be cluttered. If you have more "spontaneous events" than planned events, then there is clutter. If you lack any real process of discipleship or even participation, then the clutter may be accumulating.

So how do you clear the clutter? First, you need to evaluate whether your events have a purpose and if they fit in your overall plan. Sure the purpose of paintball is to have fun and maybe grow community as long as no one get shot in the eye, but does it fit in an overall plan to grow community? The goal is to have a goal, or at least to have all of your events working together.

The next thing to do is to have an overall process for your ministry. This is where ideas from Simple Student Ministry or the Orange conference can really help you decide upon a strategy for reaching and discipling your students. Having a clear process for your students means integrating events with one part of your program leading them to another part. It also means balancing what you do for clear impact. If 75% of your program is built on fun activities, then it may be time to balance that out with discipleship and service opportunities. If 80% is Bible study then perhaps you could consider implementing some community building activities. This is also true if you are duplicating your efforts in an area. We realized that we want to do small groups at night, but we also offer a small group Sunday School. If we want students to see their evening small groups as their primary discipleship opportunity, then we needed to look at what Sunday School could become so that we are not overlapping.

The next thing to do is hard, but really necessary. You need to plan. Look, I am one of those people who thinks I write better when the paper is due the next day, but that will not cut it in ministry, not if you want to reach your true potential. Plan your big events at least 6 months out. Right now in December we have scheduled all of our big events for next year such as Disciple Now, M-Fuge, and our Fall Retreat. We have penciled in smaller events like lock-ins and Christmas parties. When these smaller events are three months away, we will have fixed dates that we can start to advertise. By the end of this year, we will also have crafted our teaching topics for January through June. Doing this planning now means that we have a ton of time to be creative and gather resources. We can also create a brochure with relevant dates and details that gives everyone a sense that we know what we are doing. The level of confidence and credibility we gain is worth the time spent in planning. This does not mean that we will not do spontaneous things or that some dates may change, but we do have a plan to go by.

Clearing the clutter has so many benefits from helping you to streamline and use your time more wisely to allowing you to maximize the impact of particular events. Good luck, now I need to go pick up some more toys.

Ministry and Family

Last night our church had an event where families are invited to come and make gingerbread houses. It was a lot of fun, but it was an example of an event where the pull between job responsibilities and family responsibilities becomes very evident. It was nearly impossible to find time to help my wife and kids make a house while also spending time with the students. At the end of the day, I felt like I had missed the mark for both groups.

Trying to figure out how to balance family and ministry can be really difficult. It has definitely been the downfall of more than a few ministers. So what is the answer? Who knows, but I think one key is to establish healthy boundaries, and I have found that one of the best ways to set up healthy boundaries is to clarify expectations. By letting your family know what to expect, letting church leadership know what to expect, and knowing what they expect from you is key if you want to make it all work. I could easily spend extra hours in the office, attend a student's event/game/recital every night of the week, and have a video game night at my house every Friday. Honestly, if I did this, I would feel like I am one awesome minister. However, not only is that stupid, it is also selfish. My family is just as much my responsibility as my job, if not more.

And this is where boundaries come in. Understand that having healthy boundaries does not mean telling the pastor that you are theologically opposed to attending a Monday evening committee meeting or that you refuse to take the students on a weekend trip because Saturdays are family days. It does mean that you don't take students on 52 weekend trips a year. It may mean evaluating whether it is really that important to have perfect attendance for the high school basketball season. It also means taking time to eat lunch with your family some days rather than finishing up a lesson. Maybe it means letting that project sit overnight so that you can come home from the office when you are supposed to come home.

Achieving a balance between ministry and family is difficult, but when you have found a way to serve both, you will realize that balance actually helps you to excel in both areas of your life.

Evaluation and Change

Change is an explosive word, especially for churches. If you want to make people angry, simply suggest changing something. The mere mention of changing something causes heads to explode. For example, a minister can say something like, I think that we should put chairs in our auditorium rather than the pews. Pop! Pop! Pop! Heads exploding everywhere!

So is change scary, sure enough. It is also necessary. It is so easy to become stuck. Doing the same things over and over is so easy. I am extremely tempted to simply copy my events calendar from this year and apply it to next year. After all, most of the stuff worked fine. Unfortunately, ministry does not work like that. Like many student ministries, my group has completely transformed as new students have entered and the seniors have left. They are at a different level spiritually, emotionally, and socially. So I have the choice, stay the course or evaluate.

Evaluating your ministry will keep you alive, or at least will keep your ministry alive. Sounds serious, I know. What you are saying if you never evaluate activities or programs in your ministry is that you are right all of the time and could not possibly do anything better, ever. You are also saying that there is only one way to do things and you have miraculously discovered it.

S0 let's just decide to evaluate. How are we going to do it? Glad you asked. First, start with a clean slate. Set the sacred cows free to roam, erase the calendar, and tell tradition that you are the boss now. Next, get a vision or goal. It is likely that you have been doing things because you do those things. Stop thinking like that. Start thinking about what you want your students to know, look like, or be like when they graduate your program. Ask God to shape your vision for your group. What is important to you? What do you want your program to be known for?

Once you know your focus, you can start brainstorming. When evaluating our gathering times and programs, we put it all on the table: Sunday morning small group, weekday small groups, Wednesday small groups, Sunday night worship, Wednesday night worship, Sunday night small groups, groups in homes, groups at the church, groups at coffee houses, worship in coffee houses...you get the picture. Know your options, and do not be tied to what you have always done. Do what is best for your students' discipleship and salvation.

Now figure out a way to make this happen. Can your plans be implemented? Do you have the resources? Will people buy in? And now we have an important caveat, that while change is important, it also can take time. Immediate change in programs or even philosophy will cause heads to explode 99% of the time. Instead, come up with an implementation plan. Take small steps to get to where you want to go. It is not more spiritual to commit change abuse. If you want stronger discipleship, you might start with new curriculum, then new teachers, then new groups structures. Also, if you cannot communicate a convincing and motivating reason for changing something, go back to the drawing board. Change can be scary, but when done correctly, it honors the calling that God has given us and keeps most heads intact.

The Journey

Working as a minister truly is a calling, not simply a job. How does this call work? Here is how it doesn't work, God does not simply call us to enter a career field. It is not about that first step, it's all about the thousands of steps that follow. What really happens is that God calls us to go on a journey with Him. God calls us to enter the unknown, dive into people's lives, and change the world. The journey is not easy nor is there ever really an end in sight. It is a honor and a privilege, and it comes with huge responsibility.

When God calls us to go on this journey, He promises to always walk with us, but He provides others to walk alongside us as well. My hope is that I can become one of those people that walks alongside you in your ministry. Through this blog I hope that you will find encouragement, inspiration, and understanding. God bless you in ministry. May you have the courage to take the journey you have been called to.