Sorting It Out

There are a lot of ways to get somewhere. There are a lot of resources in youth ministry. One of the things that I remember from my first week was the number of catalogs waiting in my mail box at the church. There was a stack almost two feet high with advertisements for small group curriculum, music, and conferences. I had mailings from magicians and gospel quartets. Talk about diversity. So here I was with all of these options, and I didn’t even know what my program looked like or was going to look like.

I must admit that I succumbed to some of the flashier flyers. I joined a video site, bought some books, and I even purchased a drum set for the band. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited before spending any money. It is tempting to buy material that looks so amazing that it will change the way that we think of church, but the reality is that it may not be right for your program or your group. It will take time to learn the culture of those you serve. You need to see where they are and not just consider them to be where you want them to be spiritually.

You also need to have a vision for what you want your program to be about. If you are brand new to student ministry, please understand that there are a lot of ways to minister to students. There is not one model or process that you must buy into to have success. However, you need to develop a process or a model that will work for your group. You need to have a vision about what your program stands for and how you will go about reaching and discipling students.

Once you have a vision for your ministry, then it is time to prioritize your needs. Something that can be difficult for new ministers to understand is the difference between budgeted money and money that you can spend. Most churches will give you a budget, but that does not mean you will ever actually be able to spend that much money because the church may not receive that much money that year. When you prioritize your spending, you will be able to maximize the impact that your money can make. Some things you will certainly need such as small group curriculum. Other things such as a couch or shirts are not necessary, but they could certainly have a value for your program.

Pitfalls of Ministry: Ambition

We all want to be the best ministers that we can be. We all want to do big things and have a big impact. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, we should all want to excel in the ministry that God has called us to. However, what we sometimes think of as healthy ambition is actually a destructive desire for our own glory. Let's look at a couple of ways that ambition can hurt our ministry and our careers.

The Need for Fame
It only took a few weeks in student ministry to realize that there are certain big names in student ministry. These people write books, have websites, or lead ministries. Other big name folks are those who serve at big name churches. It was really easy to fall into the trap thinking that the goal for me as a minister was to become one of these people. Once I had a website and a few books under my belt, I will have really "made it."

The problem with this need for fame is that it makes ministry a means to an end--and an extremely selfish end at that. If any part of your ministry is meant to do anything other than to help people grow closer to God, you might need to rethink your motivations. There is nothing wrong with becoming a big name in student ministry or any other field, but there is a danger if making yourself known is more of a focus than making God known.

Playing Your Position
Ambition can also be a problem when it comes to career plans. One of the realities of student ministry is that there are those in student ministry who are working toward a senior pastor role. They need to start out somewhere, and student ministry is a great place to get some church staff experience. To be honest, I don't see this as a bad thing at all. It becomes a problem, however, when a student minister fails to understand the importance of ministering where they are, rather than look forward to the next church or position. Student ministry is not the B-league of ministry. In fact, student ministry can be extremely difficult and is an intricate part of any church. It is obvious when a minister is simply "putting in their time" with students. It is important to be present in the ministry that God has led you to.

Another element of this is that many student ministers begin to think that they could do a better job running the church than the people currently running the church. I have seen young ministers go to churches and instantly think that they can preach better than the pastor, administrate better than the administrator, and lead worship better than the worship leader. It must be hard to be so gifted. If you feel this way, it will also be really hard for you to be a part of the team. It will also be hard for you to contribute to the health of the church.

Bigger May Not Be Better
One more way that ambition can get the best of us is in our programming and events. Yes, it would be cool if you had 500 students at your midweek program. It would be great if your students performed 52 service projects in one year. Here's the problem: many of these things are just unrealistic. It is not bad to dream, but if you continue to set unreasonable goals, you will become very disillusioned when your plans fail. When I started here at Bluegrass I wanted to make my first full year a year of service with our students completing something like 30 service projects that year. I also threw in a special two week program and set a huge goal for our Disciple Now weekend. The problem was that I had no real foundation for these programs, and I really did not fully understand what our group was or what our group needed.

We have a tendency to think that if we had more students, things would be great. Sometimes we think that a new program or a better curriculum with be the answer to all of the problems in our ministries. The truth is that in our ambition we sometimes think of ministry as a sprint rather than a marathon. Having a five month plan is a lot more motivational than a five year plan, but the reality is ministry is usually about relationships and relationships take time. It took me nearly a year to get our group back on solid ground with students and parents having positive attitudes about our program. It took that same year for me to get to know some of our students. I would have loved to have come in and righted the ship in two weeks and three weeks later be able to have deep spiritual conversations with our fringe students. We need to be realistic about how ministry is done.

Healthy Ambition
Being ambitious is not a bad thing. We need to have a vision for our program. We need to have a desire to become a better minister with a bigger impact. There are plenty examples of student ministers who lack ambition and simply oversee a status quo program. However, going to the other extreme can be just as problematic. In the end, we need to rely on God to direct the paths of our careers and give direction of our ministries. When we do that, our impact will be greater than we could have ever imagined.

Pitfalls of Ministry: Thin Skin

Doing ministry requires thick, elephant like skin. It's true. It takes about two weeks in ministry to learn about this requirement. Without thick skin, you probably are not going to make it in ministry. Seriously. If a snide comment or offhand remark can destroy your day, perhaps God called you to a ministry where you don't interact with hurting and growing people every day of your life.

Thick skin is especially important if you are in student ministry. This is true because it is easy to forget that students are still maturing and who knows what might come out of their mouth at any moment. Even in my short time in ministry I have heard things that could have ripped my heart out if not kept in context. I had a student ask why we never do anything fun in our ministry. Context: we had fun events but the student had chosen not to sign up for any. I recently had a student tell a group of people in the church that our programming was lame. Context: it was not lame until the girl that he hung out with moved out of town. I had a student who asked why we don't do anything deep. Context: this student becomes ridiculously distracting if forced to sit quiet and still for more than three minutes at a time.

Each one of these comments could have sent me into a tailspin. Each one could have sent our program back to the drawing board trying to make things fun or serious or not lame. We could have changed everything to make this person or that person happy. We didn't do that. We remembered that these students are still figuring things out. They have a narrow view of the world because they are still learning how to see the world. Because I have spent significant time praying and working towards a vision for the program, I feel secure in what we are doing.

There are other reasons that you need to have thick skin. Inevitably, you will encounter the student who leaves because they like something else better. Maybe they like the band somewhere else. Maybe they have more friends somewhere else. Maybe there are more single girls somewhere else. Are these good reasons to leave your church community? Probably not. Would you have done the same thing as a teenager? Probably.

One other reason to have thick skin is that in ministry you are helping people become mature in Christ. This means that the people that you are working with are learning and growing, but they are not holy simply because they come into your building or to your programs. The people who you minister to are not supposed to treat you like a friend and you are not supposed to treat them like your friend. The relationship is bigger than that. As a minister you are their guide, their prophet, and their shepherd. These roles do not allow you to leave them behind because they don't follow or because they disagree the words that you speak into their life.

How do you grow thick skin? You find security in who you are and in what God has called you to. You need to be confident in who you are. If you are intimidated by students or your church members, you have already minimized the impact that you can make. Be confident in who you are, your gifts and talents. Also, be confident in your calling. God selected you over all kinds of other people to share His story with these students and parishioners. If God called you to the task, he has prepared you as well. So stop being lame and toughen up.

Starting Points

When we are in the middle of planning camps, scheduling meetings, and organizing our weekly programs, it is easy to forget that our service in our ministry is actually a theological enterprise. We are not serving a calendar or even our students, but we are serving our God who created us and called us specifically to this task. I find at times that I need to be reminded of this truth.

In this theological task, our theology plays an important role whether we are conscience of it or not. Everyone thinks theologically, even if they do not call it thinking theologically. When we talk or think about God or about what the Bible teaches, we are exercising our theology. The fact that discussing theology has become something reserved for seminarians and professors troubles me. The issue that I see is not that people need to understand every theological concept in order to be saved, but I feel that having a better understanding of theology would result in having a better understanding of God and the faith that we profess.

In order to teach theologically or doctrinally, we need to understand our own understanding of our faith. The best place to start that process is to think about how we approach the theological task. What I mean by this is that we need to be aware of the lens that we look through when we seek to understand the Christian faith. Let's look at four common starting points of that frame our approach to theology and the exercise of our faith.

Creation
A theology that is seen from the frame of creation is one that focuses on a big picture view of God's redemptive plan for mankind and all of creation. The motivating idea is that God created the world, the world fell into sin, God has a plan to put it back together, Christ was that plan, and now we are moving to a place where God will restore everything. The focus here is that God still loves all that He created even though it has become corrupted.

The Incarnation
Many Christians identify strongly with the fact that Christ became a man and lived among other men. The lens becomes a way to approach life in light of the fact that Jesus provides an example of how we might approach life. Christ experienced many of the same things we do. He suffered and laughed. This view tends to provide assurance that God knows all that you go through in life and brings comfort that God would be so loving as to have that experience.

The Crucifixion
With the crucifixion as a starting point there is a desire to identify and understand the suffering that Jesus underwent for our sakes. The crucifixion is seen as the ultimate act of sacrifice and our lives are called to mirror that sacrificial love. In this frame there is a tendency to feel a deeper regret for sins and have a great appreciation for forgiveness.

The Judgment
There are Christians who focus a great deal on being prepared for the time when we will enter the heavenly realm. This could be a focus on eschatology (end times) or a focus on the judgment that the Bible speaks of that all mankind will experience. The emphasis becomes one of living a life that is more good than evil.

While all of these starting points is a valid way to approach our understanding of the Christian faith, each can be errant when taken to an extreme. For example, an overemphasis of the crucifixion can lead believers to live with guilt and pain when grace is not also emphasized. Likewise, a faith lived out focused on judgment can become one of legalism and striving when grace is not included.

If we are to truly teach theologically, we must first work out our theological understandings and what we believe. We must also know our tendencies when discussing the Christian life and how it is to be lived. As we become better theologians ourselves, we will become better at introducing people to a deeper understanding of what it means to live as a Christian.

You Can't Go Home Again

A few months ago I went back to my hometown for a quick visit. My family does not live there anymore, and it had probably been about four years since I had visited. As I drove down the main road I barely recognized certain parts of town. While I did not recognize things, as I walked into Chick-fil-a I was sure that I would be playing the part of Norm from Cheers and everyone would shout my name as I entered the doors. This did not happen. In fact, I saw no one that I recognized.

While it would have been great to relive the past, I was faced instead with a very different present. I have also experienced the same thing in ministry. When I came to this church, I brought with me with me some great memories of my own experience as a student in a student ministry. My experiences in high school with church were some of the best times in my life. If it worked for me, I thought, it would definitely work for this church that I was heading to. I envisioned all of the students excited about hanging out at Dairy Queen and wanting to have a great drama team. Basically, I wanted to recreate the ministry that I grew up in, and it was a mistake.

It did not take long to realize that you cannot recreate a ministry, because each church has a different culture and personalities. I tried to get the students into going to Sonic after our Wednesday night program, but it ended up being a really awkward time and I was out about $25 after lending kids money for ice cream. Instead of going of campus (which is a logistical and transportation nightmare I now realize) we hang out in our student area and play games, fellowship, and have a really good time. This time is now a great tradition in our group, and I can't think of anything else that would better fit our culture.

Where Did This Come From?

So I am organizing my office this morning for what has become about a weekly ritual, and as I put things away or throw things away, I can't help but reflect on the randomness that this job has sometimes (really most of the time). Perhaps the best evidence of the randomness of this job is the junk that accumulates here. Here are some of the things in my office:

• I have amassed quite a bug spray collection. Our annual high school camping trip and our fall retreat have given me the resources to repel bugs for the next three years.
  
  
• One time I used a bunch of plastic Army men for an object lesson. After a few "visits" from some students, these guys can be found hidden throughout my office.
  
  
• For whatever reason, I cannot seem to throw away the youth curriculum kit from 1981 that sits under my desk. Maybe because it is a good reminder that while stuff might be cool now, in thirty years people will ask why it even existed in the first place.
  
  
• In case a bonfire just breaks out, I also have all of ingredients to make smores. I will say that the Hershey's bars have been diminishing over the past few weeks.
  
  
• I have a record album entitled Jesus Sound Explosion from the 70's. I do not, however, have a record player so I have no idea what it sounds like, but with a name like that, it was impossible to pass it up at the thrift store.
  
  
• I have a guitar in my office that I bought a while ago. I cannot play guitar or even tell you the names of the strings, but I used it for a prop for a sermon a few months ago and decided that it would be very youth ministerish to have a guitar in my office.
  
  
• I recently found a box of CD's which at first seemed like a great find, but then I realized that these CDs were all from 1998. The upside is that one of the CDs is from a band called Phat Chance who was obviously a Christian version of N'SYNC. It's a classic.
  

What's great about having a random collection of things is that it reminds me that this job is often a really random collection of roles. It is also a job that has given me so many great memories. It makes you really appreciate what God has done and helps me anticipate what He will do in the future.

Why Do They Come

Have you ever wondered why students participate in your student ministry? I wonder that sometimes. I sit there and think, what brings these kids here to all these events. While I would like to think that it is because I am super awesome, I think that there are actually several reasons that students participate in our ministry. Each student comes for different reasons, and I have compiled a list of the types of students who come and the reasons that they do.

1. The Home-Grown Student--This student grew up in the church. His or her family has been a part of the church for a long time, and it was just natural for them to become part of the student ministry. For me these are some of the most committed students because they have a strong attachment to the program and church. Their parents also tend to be some of our best volunteers.

2. The Significant Other--Some students come to your stuff because they are dating someone in the group, and they are tagging along. As much as I would like to think that these kids will stick around after the break up, chances are they are temporary attenders. If they will stick around, it is because they formed relationships with the other girls or guys in the group while attending.

3. The Minister's Kid--This student will be at most things because his or her parent works at the church and makes them come. You will be especially nice to this student because you will regard him or her as a spy for his or her parent. Note: they are not spies for their parents, usually.

4. The Community Kid--This student was looking for a place to fit in, and he or she found it with your group. These students come because they like the relationships that they have with the group. Maybe a friend invited them, or maybe you invited them, either way they found something that they were seeking and now they feel at home.

5. The Ladies Man--This guy comes because there are girls in your group-no more explanation necessary.

6. The Visitor--This student is checking you out because his or her family is checking the church out. The issue here is that the student may not have any connection to the group before attending for the first time. With a group that is a little insular at times, it takes a lot of effort on the leadership's part to make sure that these students stick.

7. The Mystery--Some kids come and you have no idea why. There are some students who you see maybe a few times a year. What brings them back? Who knows, but you are excited to see them there. Then they disappear again, destined to return at yet another random time. There is hope, though. We have some great stories about mystery students who have become plugged in and big contributors to our program.

You may never know why some kids come to your group. Something that I have realized is that I have very little control over who comes and how often. We have had great attendance at some very average events and poor attendance at exciting events. Some of the best advice I have ever read, however, is that you never concentrate on who is not there, but celebrate the ones that are there. It doesn't matter why they have come, just show them all the love of Christ and you will make a huge impact on each life.